Day 11 ~ Capture Your Grief 2012

My mom and my siblings have been wonderful support. From left to right: Andy, Ethel, Stephanie, mom, Amy, me, Jody and Shannon.

Mine and Lee’s families have always been wonderful support since we found out Sadie was a Little Person mid-pregnancy, through her brief life, her death and the founding and continuing of The Sadie Rose Foundation. Through it all, we’ve always known we could count on them (and their spouses) to be there for us. This photo is of me with my mom and my brothers and sisters. I also want to specifically thank my Aunt Edie and my cousin Loni who have been such great support as well as such great help to The Sadie Rose Foundation. I’m thankful for my dad, who has been there in his own unique way. Our church family and other friends have been wonderful too, as well as fellow bereaved parents we’ve connected with. SO thankful to be surrounded by so much love!We are better people because of the loved ones in our lives and the Sadie Rose Foundation exists because these people (and many others) help make it happen.

Me with my sisters: Ethel, Me, Stephanie, Amy.

Day 9 ~ Capture Your Grief 2012

Me and Smoky

Day 9: Special Place: There is no place more peaceful to me than being in the mountains and riding horses. I feel so close to God and to Sadie when I am afforded those special moments. Nature is a sanctuary for my otherwise broken heart and busy life, the unconditional friendship of horse (and dog) a healing balm for my wounded spirit.

 

Day 8 ~ Capture Your Grief 2012

Sadie’s Jewelry

These two necklaces are so special to me. The small heart has Sadie’s name and date of birth/death on it. My mom gave it to me for Christmas a few years ago. Every year, mom gets me something special with Sadie’s name engraved or written on it. I know that among all her 26 grandchildren, two of which have passed away, she remembers our sweet Sadie. There is no better Christmas gift to this mother than to remember my baby with me. The second necklace was given to me by a dear sweet friend who has had three of her own babies die. The necklace is special, but knowing the pain and sacrifice behind the gift makes it priceless.

 

Day 6 ~ Capture Your Grief 2012

Words do not “fix” bereaved people! Loving them aids in the healing.

Sometimes I am left speechless at what people say. Other times, it is all I can do to restrain what I call “the spirit of slap” that consumes me when said instances occur. I wrote the following a few short months after our sweet Sadie Rose died…

Losing a child at whatever age in whatever circumstances is tragic for parents. As mourning families struggle to understand what just happened, well-meaning caring people say things in an effort to bring comfort. Sometimes, even if what they are saying is true, it’s hard for parents to hear. This poem was written in response to those cliches that can sometimes hurt more than heal. Yes we believe we will be reunited with our child, yes we believe she’s pain-free, but as humans, we long for the tangible; that which we can physically embrace, touch, smell and hear.

DON’T TELL ME!

By Regina Rose Cyzick Harlow

8/16/2007

 

Don’t tell me everything happens for a reason

Don’t tell me this is just a season

 

Don’t look at me and raise your eyes and tell me that you know

That God takes care of everything because He loves us so

Don’t shrug your shoulders in my face and tell me “God knows best”

Don’t comfort me by saying my baby’s found eternal rest

I’d rather hold my baby girl and feel her flesh and blood

To smell her breath upon my face and feel her baby hugs

I’d rather kiss her tender cheeks and comb her baby hair

Than cling to idealistic dreams of knowing her “over there”

I wish her cries would wake me when I desperately needed sleep

I wish a smelly diaper meant I’d get to wash her sheets.

I’d love to feel her on my breast and hear her baby sigh

Oh God I cannot take this pain, why did she have to die

I’ll never hear her footsteps as she patters down the hall

She’ll never learn to ride a bike or play with baby dolls

She’ll never call me mommy or sing her ABC’s

She’ll never get to help me decorate the Christmas tree

So before you in all your wisdom tell me how to deal with grief

Just close your mouth and walk away and give me some relief

I know you want to help me and you don’t know what to say

But hugs, and tears, and smiles are best, when my heart feels this way.

 

 

 

Day 5 ~ Capture Your Grief 2012

Sadie’s stone is a beautiful memorial to her legacy.

Sadie’s stone has the Sadie Rose Foundation rose on the front and the name of the organization and our Scripture verse on the back. I love her stone, I love her place of rest, but it is so hard to spend time there. A cold hard tombstone cannot warm my mother’s heart or fill my empty arms. However, I am overcome with gratitude and love when I do visit, because someone regularly places flowers on her grave. It means so much to know that others are remembering our precious baby with us. To read a poem I wrote about how her siblings have learned to know Sadie around this tombstone, click here.

 

Day 4 ~ Capture Your Grief 2012

Sadie’s dress, bonnet, extra-small preemie diaper and blood pressure cuffs.

Day 4 ~ Capture Your Grief 2012 ~ Most Treasured Item: This one was hard for me. We have so few things that actually belonged to Sadie, but I keep all her things in a little box and those times where I need to “hold her,” I open her box. Those teeny tiny diapers and blood pressure cuffs get me every time. Again, to participate in this event or to view more pictures, visit CarlyMarie’s Facebook Event.

 

Day 3 ~ Capture Your Grief Project 2012

Photo after loss: Me lighting a candle for Sadie Rose at our annual candlelight ceremony.

Today’s “Capture Your Grief Project” photo suggestion was a photo after loss. I realized I have few photos of myself the year after Sadie died, so this is me lighting a candle in her memory at one of our Sadie Rose Foundation candlelight ceremonies. This photo is Day 3 for the Capture Your Grief Project 2012, initiated by CarlyMarie Project Heal. You are welcome to participate in this event too, even if you’ve missed the first few days. To see pictures from other participants, see Carly’s Facebook Event.

 

Events, Project Update and October Newsletter

We have a lot going on at the Sadie Rose Foundation in October. We still need volunteers for this Friday, Oct. 5, and Saturday, Oct. 6, to help make and sell homemade doughnuts at the Dayton Autumn Celebration. We are also busy gearing up for our Third Annual Remembrance Walk. I am also participating in CarlyMarie’s Project Heal 2012 this October and invite all who wish to join me. Information about all these events are here in our October Newsletter.